


Nightmares

by hoseokdjh (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Cuddles, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, idk - Freeform, kinda ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:17:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hoseokdjh
Summary: Bucky still gets nightmares but luckily Steve is there to comfort him.





	Nightmares

The dreams always start the same.

 

The moment he fell from that train, the moment everything started. He sees Steve, sees him turning away, not able to watch his best friend fall to his death. He feels his body hitting the ground, the immense pain, his senses drifting away. He sees flashes of pictures before his eyes, some of his surroundings, some of different persons he barely recognizes.

 

Then there's the worst part about these dreams. He remembers. All the names, the faces, the details, they're all still stuck in his head. All the people he killed, he remembers every single one of them. He remembers being told their names and where they were, he remembers finding them, and the exact way he killed them, their screams and pleadings.

 

He knows that he was controlled and that he didn't have a choice, but it was still him who did all of those things, it's his hands that killed all of them. And when he thinks of all the lives he's taken or destroyed, all the bad things that happened because of him it sometimes just all gets too much and he can't help but just want to scream, because _fuck_ he should've just died when he fell from that train, that would've been better for everyone.

 

And when he wakes up from those dreams, sweaty and out of breath, those thoughts are still stuck in his head and it's even worse because he knows it's not just dreams, he knows this all really happened and he just wants it to go away, he wants everything to go away but it won't because this is reality and this is what he did and he has to deal with that.

 

 

Bucky lets out a deep breath and drops his head a little, letting his hair fall in front of his face. He sits at the edge of the bed, both arms on the mattress, his body leaning forward.

 

In his head he replays the scenarios over and over again and every time he sees himself killing someone it just gets worse.

 

He lets out a frustrated groan and his grip on the bed gets stronger as his shoulders drop and his eyes shut tightly. He breathes in and out slowly and deeply, trying to calm himself down but the harder he tries the worse it gets.

 

Suddenly there are warm arms wrapping around him from behind and someone rests their chin on his shoulder as a soft voice mutters: "Bucky. Bucky, it's alright. I'm here, it's okay"

 

At first he tenses up, but then Bucky realizes that's it Steve and he slacks into his arms, not being able to hold up any longer. Steve's hug just gets tighter and he leans onto Bucky, not even talking anymore, just sitting there, his arms around Bucky and just holding him, because this is what he needs right now.

 

Steve knows that telling the other that it wasn't his fault wouldn't do much, because yes, it was still Bucky's hands which did those things and nothing's going to change that, no matter what he says about it. But he knows that just being there for him and making sure that Bucky knows how much he still means to Steve, and how much he still loves him is way more important.

 

After a while Bucky manages to sit up again and Steves grip loosens. "Are you alright?" Bucky just nods and Steve finally lets go of him. But when the blonde stands up and starts to leave the room he feels someone grabbing his wrist and when he looks around its Bucky, head still low, holding onto his wrist.

 

"Can you.. can you stay?"

 

Steve is taken aback for a second but then a small smile finds its way onto his face and he nods. "Of course"

 

The blonde lifts up the blanket and gets under it as soon as Bucky does. He wraps an arm around Bucky from behind and holds him tightly till the other one finally falls asleep.

 

And for the first time in months Bucky can fall asleep peacefully without any nightmares haunting him.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly not too sure how i feel abt this idkk i was hoping itd turn out better but . i still somewhat like it soo


End file.
